I’ve been seeing a lot of pictures on pinterest and Facebook lately. Pictures and posts talking about how “she wears fake eyelashes, that means shes fake” or ” look at her weave, can you believe that?” “I wear mt NATURAL make up… its so much better than caking on 20 pounds of it” or “can you believe what shes wearing? no self respect.”
This is making me scared for my future daughters and my younger sisters. Were living in a society where women are beating each other up over minuscule and materialistic things like hair. make up, clothes and plastic surgery.
I want to say this,
fake eyelashes don’t make someone “fake” neither does coating on a ton of mascara. And if you choose to not wear any that’s great! And if you choose to wear the most glamorous eyelashes at the store then good for you. And if you love having a long and dramatic extensions then that’s awesome! And if you like your hair natural and in an afro, or dreads, or braids then rock it. Just because you can. If you like spray on tans then go and get one. Or if you prefer your natural skin tone that’s awesome too. If you like to dye your hair purple or pink with green stripes then go ahead because you are so much more than your hair color. you are a person. beautiful in every way. and the way you choose to express your personality, to express your creativity, and your inner beauty is no body else’s business.
And if you judge someone for being “shallow” for wearing a lot of makeup doesn’t that make you equally as shallow for only focusing on the outward appearance? before you judge someone or think yourself as better then them for the make up choices, or the hair choices you make, take a minute to ask yourself where that’s coming from. Are you insecure? or jealous? I know the answer for me was insecurity. I used to be one of those “better than you because of how I dress, how i wear my make up, how I do my hair” slut shaming type of girl. I hated the way I looked, and I spent hours every day trying to make my self perfect and when I saw people that I thought looked better than me it was easier to call them a name and judge them then to look at myself and deal with my own insecurities. The whole “guys only like her because shes dressed like that” really was “I’m mad guys aren’t looking at me instead.” or “why cant I look like her”
We can blame this problem on the modeling industry portraying unattainable perfection, we can blame the make up industry that convinces us we can buy that perfection, hell, even romantic comedies convincing us getting a guy is the only thing that matters and fight to the death for him. But its up to us to reverse this cycle. to build each other up not tear each other down. Insecurity is a disease in young women and girls and we have the ability to cure it but we cannot cure it by completely tearing down other women.
So if your daughter comes to you embarrassed that she has a fuller figured body don’t tell her that “real women have curves” because somewhere there is a very skinny girl who is embarrassed and her mom may be telling her that “they’re just jealous because they’re fat.” Tell them that they should be proud of their body no matter how it looks, that their body allows them to do amazing things like cartwheels and jumping jacks, and lets them ride their bike all day. It lets them hug their friends and family and feel love. And when they say they hate their eyes remind them that their eyes allow them to see unimaginable beauty from pictures of the universe to the jungles and waterfalls. And when they say they hate their nose remind them that they couldn’t smell the amazing food you cook without it. And if they say they hate their mouth tell them that they could not speak their mind without it, they could not share their feelings or tell people how much they care about them. And if they still say they hate the way they look then remind them that looks in the end, will not matter. Its who you are. mannequins are very pretty but I’ve never seen one change the world. Its your dreams and your passions and the things you care about that make you a good person. And if they have people telling them they are not pretty enough or skinny enough remind them that they are very sick and sad people who have been taught that looks are the only important thing and they feel bad about how they look, and they are trying to give the sickness to everyone else thinking it will make themselves better.
And when they experiment with make up and hair dye, don’t make them feel dumb or silly. This can just cause more insecurities. Because I’ve always believed it takes a terribly confident women to dye her hair pink. If she chooses to express herself through lipstick and eye shadow, or by going completely natural and never wearing make up, that’s okay. That the point of this post. Yes, Inner beauty should be more important than outer beauty. So why worry about it? If someone wants to wear a purple wig on Monday and change to a gold and silver one on Tuesday, don’t sweat it. And if someone wants to go natural and not shave their legs why the hell do you care? and before you call someone fake for having a spray tan or fake nails, or hair, or eyelashes pay attention to their movements… are they moving fluently and speaking normally? yes they are? yep… they aren’t “fake” they are a human. Just like you.
Link to the original blog post:
If you are a vegetarian I totally support you and will make you non-meaty foods
If you are a vegetarian that doesn’t let me eat meat in front of you I will organize a hotdog eating contest in front of your house
People weren’t meant to be trusted that’s why we have pets.